I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
