I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
