yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
its liver damage thursday
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
