Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
