Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I am midnight drunk by noon
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize