yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
