Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
