Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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