Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
did i just pee glitter
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
