Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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