Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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