Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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