i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
