I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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