From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
