If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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