your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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