Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize