In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
