is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
