They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
