Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
