i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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