I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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