i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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