Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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