I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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