i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize