That's when you crack a 10am beer
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize