he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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