Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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