So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
i need to put some appletini on your dick
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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