i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
