how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
