pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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