I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
