What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
