Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
