five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
