Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
