ugly people sure do ruin things
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
