Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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