Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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