dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
