When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
