Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
