It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
