It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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