He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
