my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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