And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
