what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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