Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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