there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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