She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
