a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
