SEEEEXXX PLEASE
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Too much gin, very little bucket
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
