so let's talk penis.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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