I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
